Early Dementia or Somesuch

Paneer: Heeeey!

LOML: Hey.  Did you get a movie?

(We live about 17 feet from a Blockbuster, so we still adhere to OLD-SKOOL movie rental stuff.  Except for–we have a thingy that lets us trade in an old rental for a new rental every time we enter the store for a low-low fee…  Is this bad?  We don’t do the RedBoxing or the WiiMovieing.  Are we the equivalent of Beta??)

Paneer: Um, no.  I’ve been running important errands all day.

(I pretty much had brunch with the Bro, got a mani/pedi and got my hair done–highlights and cut.  THIS IS F-ING RARE!!  And I *loved* it.  Where do I sign up for full time????)

LOML: *Napoleon Dynamite Sigh* Could you GET a movie?

Paneer: SURE!

(Shit, I’ve been getting my loveliness enhanced all day, bitch, I GOT THIS!)

Do you want me to get Hot Tub Time Machine? 

(Which you mentioned, like, 6 times in Blockbuster yesterday?)

TIME LAPSE:

(Paneer runs around, does laundry, cooks a big dinner–including paneer tikka masala, yo!, and straightens up the residence.  Yes, Paneer got a massage, but it fucking HURT.  And while Paneer was dizzy and barfy from the massage, LOML got a gentle cranial massage while said Paneer put dinner on the the table for the therapist and us.  WTF?!!!)


*MOVIE TIME, BITCHES*

LOML: Ugh.  HOT TUB TIME MACHINE?! This is gonna SUCK!
Paneer: What the???!!  BITE MY ASS.  That 9/11 Edward Cullen movie was depressing as shit and YOU ASKED ME TO GET THIS!!!
LOML: Well.  I don’t think it will be that funny.
TIME LAPSE:

LOML laughs at movie.  Bitches intermittently, for effect, but laughs frequently.  Then, laughs more, at lame ass jokes–funny, but LAME.

Paneer: So, not bad, eh?  John Cusack rules.  (FUCKING UNDENIABLE)

LOML: SUCKED!

Paneer: But you laughed SO MUCH!!!!!!
LOML: Yeah…No.  I love you, little girl!!  I’m going to bed!

HUH???  Holy Hell.

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